New Miss Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

Your hairline is still missing even Dora can’t explore it

One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.

Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.

Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can.

Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance. Misses a pen From close distance.

Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!

Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.

Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.

Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.

Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.

Pastor: You deserve to die.

- I attack

Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?

Because he didn't land either.

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.

I'm going to hell!

What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?

Motherboard.

How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?

Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

I miss my wife, Tails.

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]

Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.

Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."

The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."