New Miss Jokes - Page 11 - Worst Jokes Ever

What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit somthing brown and gross?that is bull crap

Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

My wife still misses me...

But her aim is getting better!

One day there was a boy who needed the toilet. So he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes but before you go what is the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies " I don't know miss.... The teacher says that he will have to wait. Later the boy goes home to his mom that is on the phone. What is the first letter in the alphabet? His mom says "Oh shut up! So the boy goes to his dad that is playing darts and says "what is the second letter in the alphabet? His dad says "180"! So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks "what is the 3rd letter in the alphabet"? The sister says " I'm a Barbie girl in a barbie world"! The next day the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again so he goes to ask if he can go and the teacher says " yes but before you go what is the 3 letters in the alphabet"? They boy says " oh shut up"! The teacher is angry about that so she says "what is the second one"? "180"! Says the boy and the teacher asks him where he is from and the boy says " I'm a barbie girl in a barbie world!"

The end

A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said "Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight! She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts"

Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.

My best friend ran away with my wife I really miss him

this is a lot like anal sex

you always miss 100% of shots if you take it

My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.

Stormtroopers- I guess they never miss huh?

Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.

Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.

Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!

Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.

Teacher: What was that?

Alex: Flew the plane.

Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus

I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his christmas present ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. the ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.

They told me I could never be an actor.

No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.

You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.

WHY CANT MISS PIGGY COUNT TO 70? BECAUSE WHEN SHE GETS TO 69 THERE'S A FROG IN HER THROAT.

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”