Is ur mom a virgin? Mine is How am I alive? U tell me
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget and I am now traumatized to hell, the next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend. :)
-Dark_Humor
The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."
I have a friend of mine from school, I always see them with bangs so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came.. their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead. :)
-Dark_Humor
One day it was me & my sister in the house. My sister said to me let's order food I said we have no money. My sister said it's cool were just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store I know the delivery boy & he won't charge us. I said cool. The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some & ate mines in my room. I went back in the kitchen I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job I ask what are you doing. My sister replied back to me & you had your egg rolls let me enjoy mine. Then the delivery boy said don't no charge.
Opinions are like orgasms.the only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
my chocky milk don't you touch my chocky milk its mine no its not! its you face! ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
So a husband and a wife have three kids. the husband is on his death bed and he looks up at his wife and says. "Honey, is our youngest song truly and honestly mine?" She says in response. "I sware on everything that is good and holy our youngest son is your" He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breathe, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,
“Boo.”
“Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?”
Jack sat down next to her and smiled.
“I figured today was a good day to maybe go up to the hill?” He said.
“That sounds fun,” said Jill.
“C’mon, let’s go!”
The kids climbed down from Jill’s second story window. The frolicked around in the fields, hair swaying in the wind, as they neared the nearby hill. Jack took Jill’s hand, and they skipped up to the very top of the hill. They sat down on the bright green grass and giggled.
“You ready?” Asked Jack
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jill replied with a wink.
Jack laid his hand on Jill’s chest, softly pushing her onto her back. He got down on his knees, and bent down to the bottom of her dress.
“I’ve waited a long time for this...” he whispered.
Jack slowly pulled up Jill’s dress with one hand, running the other up her thigh. His anticipation was building faster and faster. He looked her in the eyes as he slowly pulled down her panties. Once they were all the way off, he turned his head downward. His mouth opened, his eyes went wide. Jack was speechless. Before he could say anything, Jill slammed his head down, gagging him with her giant cock. She sat up as she slammed his head up and down. Jack began to feel dizzy as he gagged and coughed.
“Silly Jack, didn’t you know? I’m not Jill. I never was. My name’s Randy. You’re mine now, Jack. So sit back, enjoy the ride.” Said Randy.
Randy moved Jack’s head faster and faster as he threw his head back. It was coming, fast. All of a sudden, he stopped. Jack’s head stood still as his mouth became a fountain of white, drizzling all over Randy’s legs and onto the grass. Randy let go and Jack jumped back, spitting and trying to get it all out of his mouth. Just as the dizziness began to fade, Randy walked over. The last thing Jack saw was Randy’s fist hurtling towards him...
My sister is the weired dark one and emo of the family im the bright happy one once in 3rd grade i got a huge A on mine and my sis got a D- In the playground Near a tree we were siting and playing i said "hey a C- is not that bad and raised my hand up to give her a high five but she left me hanging
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field? Everywhere.
PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY SORRY YOUR ARE AN ORPHAN
you say this to your friend damn your nuts are bigger then mine* thinks the wrong way* friend: i must order more nuts
Whats big and round? Mine and not yours
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road."
Waiter: can I have your order? Me: no it’s mine!
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen. I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her! Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I never forgotten it... A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass...the worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back & another train ran over him and cut off his head... BAD IDEA & a lesson to us all... NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died it’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine
sike i likeed your minecraft account is mine
