Stripes

Stripes Jokes

Shop

The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

Self Harm

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

Self Harm

Friend: “What's that on your arm?”

Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”

Glove

My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."

Zebra

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

Tattoo

I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.

Wrist

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.

Now, my wrists look like a tiger.

Stripper

How do men like their women? Striped.

How does a priest like their children? Clean.

Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

Zebra

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.

One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"

The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"

His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"

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  • Zebra

    What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

    Three zebras fighting over a pickle.

    Pornstar

    What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!

    Pornstar

    What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

    One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."