Mineral jokes
I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.
Friend: "Your jokes are too short."
Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."
Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."
Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."
Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)
Which mineral is so impolite?
IRONic.
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked!
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
What do you call a un-funny rock?
A normal rock.
What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?
"Hey! give me my Nickelback!"
Which mineral is impolite?
Ironically.
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
Rocks rock and crack!
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
What did the coal say to the charcoal?
You look pretty coal! 🤣
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What state do miners hate?
Oregon.
My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner.