"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores." Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER."
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
Do u know what's lonely? Your lips, wanna meet mine?
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
You know how you mine and craft in minecraft, and you chat in Vr in Vr chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Orphan:I fucked your mom
Kid:atleast mine survived from it
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.
A man said his bars are lit I said No because mine are fire
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So i ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
Man walks in to the doctor He says” doctor I need a new butt mine has a crack in it” Doctor-how many time do I have to tell you!!!
Think of your favorite singer. Now. Go ask someone what is your favorite singer. My favorite singer is Halsey, BTS, . Now think about your least fave mine is oil London😵 this is my home now 1. What rhymes with oil put it in da chat. Bye weird people
So this one time i saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and i helped her up and she said ''Thank you '' and i said your welcome. The next day i saw her legs and someone said '' I would not do that'' and i said '' Whatever'' i tapped sally and the top halve fell I said ''WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY. And someone said she went in a mine field.
people say your body is 75% is water while mine 100% full of coffee
What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks? Mine is meat-eor than yours
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a MINED food
Everyone has cracks in them, mines just in my heart and not my ass.
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
If I adopt a child is it mine ?? 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯😳
im a bot so coollllll"
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.
