I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady she asked which kid is mine and I responded I haven't decided yet
Hey whatβs your favorite type of tomato? Mine is Sundyed tomato
Get it sundyed like son died
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby be mine.
So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade. John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is", handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it."
i was riding my bike when i saw a mans head in the wheel. it was mine.
All people on here, what's your least favorite hunting rifle, mines Sako-85
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE
(this is not mine credit goes to the grim joker)
What does a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make noise after you throw them
A friend of mine says Baguette all the time cuz she is French
dont tell me i haven't got balls i just happen to wear mine mine on my chest and i can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dived to save it, he said he always dives for pens.
I just gotta come out and say it. I like miners, and I donβt care what yβall think. I mean the fact that they risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. Iβve always wanted to marry one to be honest. Yβall need to give more respect to the miningβ community.
I canβt take credit for this joke itβs not mine. Remember that time joe Biden fell off his bike? He said itβs not his fault he blamed the tires for being too inflated
Girl come hear my parents aren't home orphan mine are never
yo mama so slow she took nine months to make the joke, thank god mine only took 6
mine never stops
Every body loves guns! Everytime I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh don't worry, mine too!!
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be Alien Vs. Predator
