A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them saying "God will surely save me."
The medical team tries to help him but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B**** I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
I went to the doctors yesterday I said: when I touch my back it hurts when I touch my knee it hurts when I touch anything it hurts! 😣 what’s wrong with me Doctor: you’ve broken your finger
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam. That being said I wish he hadn't!
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants and it was drivin me nuts
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
*in the hospital* paralyzed kid : I'm out *walks out the room* blind kid : you can walk?! mute kid : you can see?! deaf kid : you can talk?! doctor : wut the f(beep)k
My doctor called me a "psychopath". HOW DARE HE!?! HE'LL PAY FOR THIS!
Kid: I have the corona virus
Nurse: here is an ice pack
in the hospital i saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep the icu was going beep beep beep i think thats why she cant sleep so I turned it of shes asleep forever now nighty night
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient. "Give me the good news first," the patient said. "Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live." "That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "I've been trying to reach you for two days."
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun, it comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now pay later.
when you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders
My nan broke her toe by a brick today, last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire . Does that now mean I have to toe her back to the doctors.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
A Doctor walks into his office and look his paitent in the eyes "Sir you have to stop Jerking off." The Man ask "Why?" The Doctor then says "Because im trying to examin you."
POV you accidentally get H in your IV drip
Why was the north tower a bad doctor when the south tower collapsed? Bc the north tower didn’t do cpr
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
Went to the doctor told him Ive been having dreams first about a wigwam then about a teepee he said I was 2 tents
