ME jokes
Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?
Orphan: *Sobs* "No."
God, I love working at an orphanage!
I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.
I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.
Me and my twin when we share a pizza: there can be only one!
I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Hi, I'm Claire. I am new to this website. I have been seeing these "Legends," and I've been tracking one specifically, watersharky. I have questions about him. Is he nice, protective, single? If anyone has any more information about him, please tell me.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.
Me: Nice.
Friend: She got some red on her shirt.
Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?
'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.
My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.
"Fuck me, Jarry."
We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.
If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
True story.
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.