ME jokes

Blonde joke

    • A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

  • 9

    • Twix

    • My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

  • 1
    • ME memes

    Death

    • Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.

  • 0

    • Roblox

    • I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.

  • 1

    • Mailman

    • The mailman came to drop the mail off.

    Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

    Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

    Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

  • 1

    • Ladder

    • My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

  • 1

    • Idiot

    • I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

  • 0

    • Orphanage

    • Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.

    Friend

    • Friend: How dark is your humor?

    Me: .....it...

    Friend: No

    Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!

    Friend: Why are you like this?

  • 0

    • Morgue

    • "Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"

    "To the morgue."

    "But I'm not dead yet!"

    "But we're not there yet."

  • 0