ME jokes

Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!

"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."

"Me fa so?"

Me in the middle of the night boiling water.

Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?

My brother: How?

Me: You boil the hell out of it.

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.

Roblox jokes on this page in a nutshell: something about Roblox girlfriends, and "Add me on Roblox. My name is Sonicboy100299easyarsenaltowerofhellproxdlol."

Watersharky, do you hate me?????

I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.

Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?

Brother: Why though?

Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?

Me: I have an arrow in my head.

My friend: What's the point of that?

Me: Of the arrow?

Friend: No!

Me: Probably the flint.

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.

My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?

What did the helicopter say to the mountain?

Kobe!!!

Just send me to hell already.

You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?

"Prince, please help me. This faker is driving me crazy!"

Hey, why did you copy me, you dumb-ass prince?

"Prince, do you love the faker, Princess, or me, the real Gwen?"