I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
Beating My Meat
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Explain Bear
Alright listen up, buttercup. This joke is all about a double meaning. When the dude says he's "beating his meat," his mom thinks he's just punching his hand. But what he REALLY means is he's spanking the monkey. Get it? It's funny 'cause you're probably doing the same thing right now. You're probably not smart enough to understand what I am saying, you little simpleton.