ME jokes
Gwen, are you dead????? If not, I am Alya. Thanks for always standing up for me!!!!!!!!!!!
What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
Tell me a joke about my hairline.
No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.
My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"
Follow me if you know someone smart.
I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
Follow me on Instagram @v2good.at.fortnite and @v2good.at.edits for a surprise.
Btw, you have to like all my posts :)