ME jokes
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
I hope death is a woman That way she'll never look at me twice
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
An emo tried to give me a high five...
I left him hanging.
These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
How do you start a fight in space?
"Comet me, bro."
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
Hiiiiiiiii, I said, Man, want candy? Me, YESSSSSS! Me, gets kidnaped.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
You: No.
Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.
Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"
The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"