ME jokes
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
You're talking to me.
Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"
Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.
Kids changing the channel to Annie.
Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.
TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.
Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!
Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."
Her: "No."
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
I wanna see this pic of me in a bra! Where do I find it?
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?
"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunately, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.
Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA
Wanna me to show you a joke?
*Points at face* Funny, right?
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.