Man jokes
My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.
Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.
Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
My dad was such a good man. RIP, Osama bin Laden.
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
What do you call a gay man that performs fellatio on a man and cunnilingus on a woman, a person who is curious about male bisexuality, a man that is bicurious?
Does it cycle now?
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
His neighbor asked Hodja,
"Do you have some forty-year-old vinegar?"
"I have," answered Hodja.
"Would you give me some? I need it to prepare a medication," said the man.
"No, I won't," replied Hodja. "If I had given some to everybody who asked for it, would I have it for forty years?"
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
Shout out to johnny4488 for commenting on my last post!
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?
None, he fell.