Man jokes

One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.

What do you call a door that's a man? A door, man.

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.

What do you call a man with a curly toe?

Carlito.

What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?

Both of them are just full of shit.

Why did the man miss the funeral?

He wasn’t a mourning person.

What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?

"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.

Man, I hate the government.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

Knock knock. Hwoo's there? Far from home. Hwoo's far from home? Spider-Man.

What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?

"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."

So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"

He says, "What's it to ya?"

So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"

Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"

Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"

Why did the man say, "I'm stuck?" Because he was...

A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

A blind man walked into a bar, and a table, and a chair.