What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
Man Jokes
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.
Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?
He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.
