Man jokes

How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?

She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)

Q: What do you call a blind German man?

Q: A not-see (Nazi).

There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.

Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.

I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."

What do you do when you see a spaceman?

Park in it, man!

If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?

The brakes, you sick bastard.

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?

"Hello Ladies!"

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."

Why do men give cold women their jackets?

No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.

What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."