Man jokes
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?
No, I'm blind.
Stop ruining my jokes.
Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?
It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
Memes
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.