A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.
What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?
Fruit cake.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
