Man

Man jokes

Salad

Why did the transgender man only eat salad?

Because he was a "her" before.

Blonde

Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

News

Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.

Chicken

Man: How do you prepare your chicken?

Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

Shooting

Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?

Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.

Crowbar

My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!

It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.

Mother

What does a mother fear most?

Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.

Oreo

What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?

An Oreo.

Countryside

If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?

Twitter

A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"

The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."

Ambulance

What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?

They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”

Hand

What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

Batman

What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

Fat Man

Why are people in Japan so thin?

Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.

Group

What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?

Alabama wind chimes.

Hand

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

Wikipedia

Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."

Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"