Man jokes

I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.

He had a change of race tho when he died.

Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.

What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?

Panera dread.

When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.

Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.

James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."

Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?

Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.

How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."

Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.

Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.

Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.

A man walks into a bar.

Then he walks into a Pole.

Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"

A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.

The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"

The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"

The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."

A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.

The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."

The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."

The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."

The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"

The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.