Man jokes
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.
💵💵💵💵💵💰💰😎😎
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
Two men are walking down the street, and see a dog licking its balls. One man says I wish I could do that. The other one says you can probably just pet him
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."