Man

Man jokes

Match

    • 22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

    24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

    31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

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    • Man memes

    Dad

    • What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.

    Wife

    • Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?

    ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.

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    • Canoe

    • A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

    One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

    The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

    The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

    And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

    The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

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    • Age

    • What does a middle aged man live in?

    A retarded kid he keeps in the van.

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    • Woman

    • What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?

    Suck a big cock.

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    • Frog

    • A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.

    The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.

    Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.

    Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"

    The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."

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    • Wish

    • Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.

    Man: I wish not to die a virgin.

    Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!

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    • Minister

    • Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?

    He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).

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