Man jokes
A man came running into a hospital saying, "Doctor, Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know I amputated your arms!"
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
What do Batman and a Black man have in common?
Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
Which way do gay men walk?
One Direction.
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
Where was your mom last night? In the man club?
What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?
My dad hates them both!
If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
A kid and a man are walking into a forest at night.
Kid: "Mr., it's getting dark. I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
lol hi
What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?
Looks like I've only got myself to blame...