Man jokes
Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.
Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”
The bartender says, “No, only women.”
The man then leaves.
Memes
First Man: My dog's got no nose.
Second Man: How does he smell?
First Man: Awful.
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
A kid and a man are walking into a forest at night.
Kid: "Mr., it's getting dark. I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
lol hi
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
What do Batman and a Black man have in common?
Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
Which way do gay men walk?
One Direction.
The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.
Where was your mom last night? In the man club?
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!