Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl. Walks up to her and says "your getting laid tonight" She replies "what are you some sort of psychic" He says "No i'm just stronger than you".
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”
Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.
Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.
Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.
What do u call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7 A: a virgin
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these and he replies with "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child if you don't believe me I can pop my trunk
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!". The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
If iron man and quick sliver teamed up.. They would be alloys.
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream, the man asks do you want sauce on it? The downs kid says It doesn’t matter I’m going to drop it anyway 😂😂😂
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing while a man named Chris comes up and asks “which one is yours?” The man said “I don’t know i’m still deciding.”
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight" He was priest.
A Man and a Cow are stuck on train tracks and There is a Train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does He save, The man or the cow? Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
What happened to the blind man's son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.
This is really mean... A man put a blind man in a circular room and said ur dinners in the corner
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide but then thinks "maybe i shouldn't be doing this" and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
