Man jokes
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
What was the first man made out of? Adams! (Atoms)
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
What is an orphan's favorite Marvel movie?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
My dick harder than stone, man.
Did you hear the passengers on the Titanic invited Yo Momma and the Titanic crew said, "Man overboard!"