Man looks at his friend and says "if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone? " The friend says im a disgusted tone "No" So the man says "ok let's go camping"
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?
Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking so he asked him "sir are you drunk?" The man responds "No sir i'm not drunk." So the Officer asks "how high are you?" And the man responds "no sir, its high how are you."
Me: Man I wish my clothes were emo. Friend:Why? Me:so they would hang themselves
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
What talks high pitched and can’t fly?
A gay man in Iran
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
Man: whats up? Me: im annoyed Man: Why? Me: I stole my gf's heart Man: So why are you annoyed? Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? -- He took a day off.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says “what’s the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks? “ The man says “it’s not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place.”
There is a lot of difference between a man and woman saying,
"I went through a whole box of Tissues watching that movie"
how do you get a depressed man out of the tree, you cut the rope
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said Chinese food, so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said Indian, so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipes it!
me: do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
bank teller: [eyes wide] uhhhhh
me: *scratches head with gun* man, i hate it when this happens
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man an entire city disappeared
A straight man and a gay man are talking, the straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
Man asking waitress, " Pardon me miss may I ask you about the menu please?" Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"
