Man jokes

Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽‍♂️

Why did the stick fall?

Because he is a stick man.

The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."

Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.

A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.

A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?

Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

Why did the blind man cross the road?

Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.

What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?

Nothing.

Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in your man's pussy.

So the other day I saw a homeless man. He tried to mug me. I let him.

I had nothing on me either. (I'm on the next block over.)

Your taste in men is like my taste in humor: dark.

What's the difference between an apple and a black man?

Apples look better hanging on a tree.

A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.

What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."

Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"

Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"

Why is the blind man so close to the door?

He can't see it.

When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"