Day Off jokes
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I missed a few days.
If an orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year, tell them for you it's only 363 days because you skip Father's Day and Mother's Day.
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.