Coming Out Jokes

A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied:

"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they're always coming out of the closet.

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."

Hubble just spotted something huge coming out of Uranus.

What's the hardest part of riding a scooter?

Telling your parents you are gay.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.

How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?

When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They don't have a closet to come out of.

Why are most vacuums gay?

They’re always coming out of the closet.

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they're always coming out of the closet.

I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

(Extra Cholesterol)

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...

What do you call a gay dwarf?

Coming out of the cupboard.

Boy: *scares girl*

Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"

Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*

Girl: What work?

Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.

I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.

A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.

Hey, you might want to look at your butt because there's something coming out of Uranus.