Coming out jokes
Michael J. Fox goes in to get a haircut. He comes out missing an ear.
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
I'm so gay.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
What goes in small and soft?
And comes out big and hard?
A tea bag.
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.