Make jokes

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?

One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.

I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!

A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.

Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:

"The doctor has now sent me the bill."

"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"

Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.

Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.

How do you make an idiot say how?

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

Huggy's so fat, Playtime Co. had to make him a monument of fatness.

What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?

Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.

Some guy: making a sandwich.

Me: *rages* to put the ham in!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.

What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”

When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.

What do you call a singer who can't make a song?

Taylor Swift.