Make jokes

Some guy: making a sandwich.

Me: *rages* to put the ham in!

What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?

One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.

Please don't make a joke about me; I'm just a human.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.

What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.

The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.

My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.

Once I got one so big, they were going to make 9/11 2.0!

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!

Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!

What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?

They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!

Why don't rappers ever make good chefs?

Because they always drop the beet!

How does a rapper make tea?

He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.

Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.

I should probably stop making emo jokes.

They just don't seem to cut it anymore.

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.