Make jokes

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

Huggy's so fat, Playtime Co. had to make him a monument of fatness.

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?

Because you cannot break the ice.

I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.

Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.

Why do dolphins live in salt water?

Because pepper water would make them sneeze!

I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'

When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.

How do skyscrapers make friends?

They reach out.

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.

Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.

Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?

To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.

When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?

What’s the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”

A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"

God replies, "So she would love you..."