I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. – But he’s still making fun of me.

Why do people make fun of crippled people? Because they can’t stand up for themselves

What do you do with epileptic lettuce? – You make a seizure salad.

Why should you not make fun of a crippled person?

Because he can’t stand the jokes.

I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. – Which makes me an eighth theist.

What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? – “Make it sew.”

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. – But if I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles.

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. – He wants to make America grate again.

I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

Where do you learn to make ice cream? – Sundae school.

What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing boeing boeing.

Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?

Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the s out!

I don’t trust atoms.

They make up everything.

How do you make holy water?

You take normal water, and boil the hell out of it.

How do you make an octopus laugh?

You give it ten-tickles.

Yo mama is so ugly she makes the devil read the bible

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all they can’t stand up for themselves