Logic jokes

Money

Aiden · 5 years ago

Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?

Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?

Son: Mom, what is money made of?

Mom: Paper.

Son: Where does paper come from?

Mom: . . .

Murder

Just a thought · 7 years ago

You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.

Spoon

DIANEE · 1 year ago

I have a spoon

Logic memes

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

House

no name · 7 years ago

Police: Where do you live?

Me: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?

Me: With me.

Police: Where do you all live?

Me: Together.

Police: Where is your house?

Me: Next to my neighbor.

Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?

Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.

Police: Tell me.

Me: Next to my house.

Suicide

Hay · 5 years ago

Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.

Depression

Greengrass · 7 years ago

Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

Me: Seeing others happy.

Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?

Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.

Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.

Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...

Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?

Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".

Mirror

Thw white bread · 4 years ago

But it's true (i made this meme)

The image is a four-panel comic. In the first panel, a gray-faced character with a neutral expression says, "Hey, how are-". In the second panel, a white-faced character with a surprised expression responds, "Mirrors don't break, they multiply". The third panel shows the gray-faced character with the same neutral expression, and the fourth panel shows the same character looking annoyed.

Bear

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A close-up of a metal bear trap is shown with the caption, "How do bears fall for this?"

Seafood diet

SexyAndIKnowIt · 3 years ago

I'M ON A SEAFOOD DIET.I SEE FOOD AND I EAT IT!!.

A young boy with a chubby build is flexing his arms. He is wearing a blue wrestling singlet.

Cat

Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

A meme with three panels. In the first panel, a blurry stick figure is crying. The second panel shows a clearer picture of the stick figure crying in front of a tan cat. The third panel is a close up of the cat.

Superhero

Swf · 2 years ago

A cartoon image split into two panels, featuring Tom the cat from "Tom and Jerry." In the first panel, Tom cautiously approaches a small, indecipherable object. Text above him reads "Superhero Movies," while text above the object reads "Advanced technology they can't explain." In the second panel, Tom confidently gestures towards the object, with text above him still reading "Superhero Movies," and text near him stating "Nanotech."

Mango

Shitpost master-general · 1 year ago

A meme showing a visual math problem. On the left, a mango is shown with an equals sign and the number 6. Below it, a yellow mustard bottle labeled "MUSTARD" is shown with an equals sign and the number 7. Below a horizontal line, the number 67 is displayed. On the right, a man with a powdered wig, sunglasses, and headphones is holding a wooden abacus and looking at it intently.

Sonic

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A text message conversation shows the question "What's wrong?" with the answer "Whenever Sonic beats Eggman in the final level, Eggman always outruns him and gets to his giant robot before Sonic catches him, beating Sonic's average running speed of 767.269 miles per hour which is the speed of sound. This means that Dr Eggman is actually the fastest thing alive." followed by the reply "nothing". The message is shown on a white background with a phone keyboard shown at the bottom.

Slipper

Wade · 3 years ago

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm..

A green dinosaur is looking at something and is thinking about it. The text on the image says: "If Cinderella's slipper fit perfect, why did it fall off?"

Chance

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾 · 2 years ago

A light gray cat with a furrowed brow looks at a "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" style question. The question reads: "If you choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance that you will be correct?" The possible answers are: A: 25%, B: 0%, C: 50%, D: 25%.

Employment

Chri5 · 3 years ago

Note for employers

The image shows a four-panel meme. Each panel has a different statement on the left side and a corresponding picture of a brain on the right. The statements, in order, are: "You're fired", "Your employment is hereby terminated", "You're jobn't", and "You're promoted to customer". The images of the brain show its evolution and increasing enlightenment.

Human

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a four-panel comic featuring the trollface character. In the top left, the trollface is lifting weights with the text "A human can lift more than their weight". The top right panel shows the trollface sitting with the text "1) pick yourself up". In the bottom left panel, the trollface is flying over a city with the text "2) fly". The bottom right panel shows a dark night sky with a trollface in it.

Grenade

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A photo shows a grenade placed in a dog ball thrower. Text on the image reads: "If it's not supposed to work, it shouldn't fit."

Rob

#LionGirl® · 3 years ago

Title

The image shows a two-panel meme. In the first panel, the text says, "Robin Hood: *robs me because I'm rich*" and then "Me: Hey since you robbed me, I'm poor now. Give me some money." The second panel shows two images of a man with a confused expression.

Logic memes

Community talk

Indirect Pufferfish

4 months ago

Fun fact: All humans are defaultly programmed to be female. Therefore for a male to be born, an SRY gene on the Y chromosome has to be turned on. Men love talking about logic and facts until the fact is that they all started out as female in the womb. Being a man is quite literally a biological detour. You didn't upgrade, you just deviated from the original master plan.

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱

5 months ago

For those of you who do not know, When im in verbal shutdown, talk to me, if you dont understand me i wont get mad, understand the leavls, dont leave. When i am in my reality phase, talk to me, Remind me who i am, were im at, and who YOU are. When i am about anything else (panic attack, over thinking, ect) Have me listen to music , put a blanket over my head, and jst zone out. Have me listen and talk to a person. Use logic against my situation, but please refrain from being rude.

Ty and ily all <333

Goner410

11 months ago

@matt, does the newer view count if the same person refreshs and views it again? I'm assuming not but just wondering what it's based off of. Acc? Ip? Or anytime it's loaded?

Community