Mathematics jokes
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
Why is 10 so scared? Cause it was in the middle of 9/11.
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
Once you go Asian, you can solve the equation.
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."
Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.