Mathematics

Mathematics Jokes

Dead Body

Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.

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  • Teacher

    A teacher asked his students a math question.

    "You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"

    After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.

    "One dollar!" she said.

    Number

    What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?

    Roamin’ Numerals.

    Stoner

    What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

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  • Math

    What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.

    Major

    What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?

    The thot that counts.

    Mathematician

    An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."

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  • Number

    Why is 6 afraid of 7?

    It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.

    Math

    Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.

    Bill Gates

    Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

    Zero

    You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!

    Percent

    I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.

    Which makes me an eighth-theist.

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