Spoon Jokes

A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."

Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."

I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.

A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."

Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!

Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.

Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.

Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.

Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.

While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."

So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.

Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!

Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!

Pass me the sugar, Sugar!

Pass me the honey, Honey!

Pass me the teabag!

Do orphans eat cereal with water?

Their dad did not come back with the milk.

Bf: Hey, what ya doing?

Gf: Just lying in bed.

Bf: Just lying in bed?

Gf: And eating cereal.

Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?

Gf: Eat my cereal.

Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.

Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.

I tried making vegetable soup yesterday, but I couldn’t fit the wheelchair in the pot.

Your clown is so stupid it took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?

A Topping.

A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.

He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”

The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.

The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”

I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.