Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"
Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?
Russian malls.
