Location jokes

A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.

The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."

The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"

I moved so much stone today.

I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.

Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.

My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.

I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.

Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.

When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.

EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.

Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.

Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.

This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?

No Panera Bread.

Where does a French cat live?

- In Purr-is

OR

- In the Catacombs

OR

- In a chat-eau.

A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"

The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"

Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.

Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.

Why are people from New York so bad at chess?

Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).