Location jokes
A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.
The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."
The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!