Nothing

Nothing jokes

Cigarette

    • Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

  • 5

    • Nun

    • Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."

  • 11

    • Monkey

    • A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.

  • 22
    • Nothing memes

    Difference

    • Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?

    Her: What?

    Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.

  • 1

    • Dark Humor

    • Rules of Dark humor:

    1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.

    2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.

    3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.

    I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.

    - Sincerely, Zane

  • 33

    • Reason

    • "Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?

  • 22

    • Grandpa

    • What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?

    Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.

  • 2