My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
Location Jokes
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
Where are virgins usually born?
Virginia.
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
You're so fat your ass has 2 zip codes.
A man is walking into the woods with a young boy.
Boy: “Hey mister, it’s getting dark out and I’m scared.”
Man: “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
What do you call a 3 humped camel?
Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀
How do you find a blind man on a nude beach?
It’s not hard.
What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?
A walkie-Torquay.
"Up your butt and around the corner!"
I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: The highway.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.
How come none of my friends have dungeons? Oddly enough, they all have "rape dungeons."
Where are crackheads from?
OHIGHo
Sheshpal Choudhary, Bijnor, UP 6395832240
Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.
Police: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH?
Police: Ends call.
Me: Calls hospital.
Hospital: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.
Hospital: Hangs up.
Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.
Fire: No fire.
Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?
Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.
