Texas jokes
God bless the shooting that happened.
The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!
I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!
There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:
Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.
Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?
Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
Us Texas fans will miss you Bijan 馃馃馃
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
What is the state of California best for? Screwing everything up!
What is the state of Florida for? Rednecks for days!
What is the state of Texas for? Guns!
What is the state of Utah for? Mormons and Pligs baby! (I hate all of the religious stuff!)
What is the state of Idaho for? Calling other people Ho's, mostly!
What is the state of Nevada for? Ever heard of gambling?
What is the state of Delaware for? Literally anything that isn't exciting!
What is the state of New York for? In my state of mind, it's a song! (If you don't get this one, look up the song of New York State of Mind)
"What's the capital of Texas?" said the brown hair.
"T," said the blonde.
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
Texas 馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀
When your friend moves to Texas and she comes back a cowgirl.
YEEEHAWW!
Why is Texas the worst state ever?
They only have one star.
Texans: Don't mess with Texas.
*snows 1 inch*
Texans: Please help us, President Biden!
I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.
It's a sad state of affairs.
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?
Because they never take a chill pill.
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
Texas is such a shitty state. There鈥檚 a reason it only has one star.