Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Paris?
Dad: Because she was made there.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.
There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.
You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.
Sometimes I wish my gf was here, that way we could have some fun in my bed. Then I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
What's your favorite Fortnite location? Mine is Tilted Toers. 😂
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?
FNAF Sister Location.
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
China is a place. I once went to Buckingham Palace.
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
Grove Christian School is a great school in Richmond, Virginia. I recommend that you go there.
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
Yo mama is so dumb, she wanted to get some ice, but she went to Antarctica and actually got ice and brought wilt cream! 🤣
Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?
Because it's on the burning side.
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
What did one arm say to the other? "What is your address?"
