Camel Jokes

Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:

The guy says, "I'm a fireman."

The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"

The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."

The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"

The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."

A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"

Why can’t Indian women drive?

They’re too used to riding their camels.

The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"

"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."

"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"

"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."

"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"

"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."

"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"

The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.

The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.

The French salute starts with your hands in the air.

The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.

What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?

A Shawarmano Cameldo!

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?

A. Bisexual.

Why are camels known as ships of the desert?

Because they’re full of Arab semen.

What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.

What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.

Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?

A. He marks the camels that kick.

Why will we never get hungry in the desert?

We have lots of sand-which's.

What do you call a 3 humped camel?

Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀

Why can't we see a camel?

Because it's camelflauged!

What do you call a green camel?

My parents left me.

Why did the camel cross the road?

Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.

What camel has 3 humps?

...A pregnant one.

One time, I was making a caramel apple.

When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!

What do you call a three-humped camel?

Pregnant.