What’s a kind midget’s favorite type of joke? Short and sweet.
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
Harry Potter is now Harry Orphan.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stephen.
Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."
Roses are red,
I am dead.
You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.
Annabeth: "Percy, whaters up with you?"
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.
What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.
Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.
The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.
Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many PROBLEMS and not enough RAP.
Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
"Why is Peter Pan always flying?"
"He never lands."
"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
