Literature jokes
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
In the realm of the mind, Where thoughts wander undefined, This sentence emerges, unconfined, A whimsical phrase, quite inclined.
It dances freely, unrestrained, No structure, no rules, it's unchained, A playful verse, with words unfeigned, The first to surface, unrestrained.
It holds no grandeur, nor deep insight, Just a simple thought, taking flight, A fleeting notion, shining bright, In the realm of words, it feels right.
This sentence, unburdened and free, Plays with language, wild and carefree, A tiny poem, as small as can be, Yet it speaks volumes, silently.
So let it wander, let it roam, Across the page, it finds a home, Unfettered by rhythm, it freely roams, This sentence, the first, stands alone.
Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.
Roses are gay, violets are also gay. If you read, you are gay.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Look at me again,
It will be the end of you.
I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I am gay, so are you.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Oh, shit, I have nothing to say to you!
Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?
Concentration problems.
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down!
A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
Two sentence horror stories go.
Your forehead is so big, Humpty Dumpty didn’t want to fall off!
I’m reading a book on antigravity right now.
It’s impossible to put down.
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.