Literature jokes
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
Why are planes the fastest readers? Because they went through 100 stories in 20 seconds.
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
Annabeth: "Percy, whaters up with you?"
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
Roses are red,
I am dead.
You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.
Your forehead is so big, Humpty Dumpty didn’t want to fall off!
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
Two sentence horror stories go.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
Moby Dick's father's name...
Papa Boner.
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.
Why do orphans read BL or GL?
Cause they get to see what it’s like with a mummy or daddy.