What lives on the forest floor?
Forest Gump.
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.
