Literature jokes
Red, black, blue. The colors of life.
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
What’s a kind midget’s favorite type of joke? Short and sweet.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Is that what you think? You have no clue, you fool!
Your mama is so old, she made a book bigger than the Bible about her life.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
Doctor Seuss break up lines:
"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
Why are planes the fastest readers? Because they went through 100 stories in 20 seconds.
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...