Literature

Literature Jokes

Dread

Roses are red,

romance is dead,

every day I suffer from existential dread.

Harry Potter

Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.

Book

"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Food

"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."

-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food

Book

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

Type

What’s a kind midget’s favorite type of joke? Short and sweet.

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Is that what you think? You have no clue, you fool!

Mama

Your mama is so old, she made a book bigger than the Bible about her life.

Difference

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

Wizard

What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?

Hairy Potter.

Fish

Doctor Seuss break up lines:

"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."

Book

Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."

women's rights

Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.

Flu

Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!

Plane

Why are planes the fastest readers? Because they went through 100 stories in 20 seconds.

Math book

Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?

- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...