Law jokes
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
There's only one gender. Women are property.
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
My teacher is a rapist.
I fucked my mom.
So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"
He called the cops.
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
Officer: Hi, how high are you?
Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"
Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.
Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.
Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.
What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.