Law jokes

You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.

My teacher is a rapist.

I fucked my mom.

So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.

Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?

To get them in his van.

What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...

You get to meet Chris Hansen!

Officer: Hi, how high are you?

Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"

Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.

Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.

Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.

If you kill someone, that's murder.

If you kill a family member, that's still murder.

If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."

I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"

He called the cops.

Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?

She was date raped.

If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?

What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.

Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?

Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"

There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.

Why did the vegetable go to jail?

He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.

Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?

1 scent.

I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?

2 pears.

I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?

3 coppers.

I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?

4 Lincolns.

I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?

NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!

What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

What is black and blue and really hates sex?

The six-year-old in my basement.