Law jokes

What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?

"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"

Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.

What kind of file turns a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?

A pedophile.

You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.

My teacher is a rapist.

I fucked my mom.

So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.

Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?

To get them in his van.

What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...

You get to meet Chris Hansen!

Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.

No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.

A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.

So I threw him out the window!

What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?

"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."

There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.

If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?

Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?

Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"

Why did the vegetable go to jail?

He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.

If you kill someone, that's murder.

If you kill a family member, that's still murder.

If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."

I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"

He called the cops.

Officer: Hi, how high are you?

Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"

Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.

Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.

Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.

Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!