If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
Law Jokes
I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"
He called the cops.
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?
1 scent.
I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?
2 pears.
I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?
3 coppers.
I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?
4 Lincolns.
I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?
NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
What is black and blue and really hates sex?
The six-year-old in my basement.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?
A baby in the microwave.
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?
Ask him to tell a rape joke.
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
