Law jokes
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
What is the difference between human rights and the rights of a human being in?
What's with all the orphan jokes? Kinda sus. #fbi
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?
No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.
What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
What's similar between McDonald's and priests?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.