Law jokes

I like my women like my family, they’re related.

What is the difference between an American and an orphan?

They don't have a home to get their guns.

Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.

One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......

It’s a wood hulem.

If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣

What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.

Why did the credit card go to jail?

'Cuz it was guilty as charged!

It’s too bad G won’t be able to follow in Kobe’s footsteps and rape a hotel employee but not serve one minute in jail.

Why can't George Floyd breathe? He had a knee on his neck, stupid.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?

They fight and... You know the rest.

Two pedophiles are on a beach.

One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.

I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?

My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.

Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡

I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.

A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.

Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."

Why did Jack throw his alarm clock out the window?

Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who was accused of knife-raping his wife.

How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?

They spray paint it like candy 🍬.