Law jokes
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.
Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?
1 scent.
I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?
2 pears.
I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?
3 coppers.
I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?
4 Lincolns.
I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?
NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
What is black and blue and really hates sex?
The six-year-old in my basement.
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?
A baby in the microwave.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?
Ask him to tell a rape joke.
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.