Law jokes

Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?

1 scent.

I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?

2 pears.

I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?

3 coppers.

I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?

4 Lincolns.

I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?

NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!

What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

What is black and blue and really hates sex?

The six-year-old in my basement.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.

What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?

A baby in the microwave.

What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?

Ask him to tell a rape joke.

The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"

Because the cheese got raped.

My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.

There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?

A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.

Random guy: Hi, how old are you?

Me: 15

The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.

Me: Do you know what else is a number?

The guy: What?

Me: 911

Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

Me: I just shot an orphan.

Mate: You can’t do that!

Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"

One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......

It’s a wood hulem.

If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?