Law jokes

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.

What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?

A baby in the microwave.

My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.

If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?

They spray paint it like candy 🍬.

What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?

Ask him to tell a rape joke.

The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"

Because the cheese got raped.

My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.

There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

Random guy: Hi, how old are you?

Me: 15

The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.

Me: Do you know what else is a number?

The guy: What?

Me: 911

Why doesn't the police arrest orphans? Because they aren't wanted.

What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?

A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?

B minor.

What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"

Me: I just shot an orphan.

Mate: You can’t do that!

Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?

Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.

Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?

Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.