The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "Iām an orphan, your honor."
friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! i'll be in court.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball Juan on juan
Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)
have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- he robbed children of their innocence
a man was in a court room, the judge said, ''what should this mans punishment be?'' a random guy ''OFF WITH HIS HEAD'' judge ''he shall give head to every man in this room'' the guy ''WAIT THATS NOT WHAT I SAID!!!''
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis? Cause that's the only way they get love.
