Court

Court Jokes

A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.

Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"

Son: "Nah, mostly men."

Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court.."

What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?

A DEPPression.

(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke)

have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?

- he robbed children of their innocence

I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.