Attorney jokes
What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?
Answer: Attorney General William Barr!
What is a briefcase?
A short lawsuit.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"