Law

Law jokes

Consent

What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?

You don’t need consent.

Prison

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

Bag

So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”

Pedophile

What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.

Orphan

Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.

Gun

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

Orphan

Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.

Outlaw

What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?

Outlaws are wanted :)

Orphan

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Kidnapping

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.

In my basement.

Doctor

My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!

Orphan

Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?

Because he punched dumbos like you people!

Man

You just shot an unarmed man.

Well, he should have armed himself then.

Constitution

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

Orphan

Why are all orphans criminals?

Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.

Therapy

If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?

Jail

Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.