Law jokes
Why do orphans play GTA?
To make them feel wanted.
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
Memes
I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
Space therapist in between the e and the r.
The rapists!
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.
Why did the orphan go to jail? Because he could finally have a home.