Law jokes
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To make them feel wanted.
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
Space therapist in between the e and the r.
The rapists!
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Why did a cop in the 1960s cross the road? To arrest a faggot for cross-dressing.
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
I hate double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.