Law jokes
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
How can one make Death Row a little more fun?
Musical electric chairs.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won’t believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?
One is wanted.