Law jokes

What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?

"Bale me out!"

How do inmates keep in touch?

They have cell phones.

Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.

Why do orphans like pedos? Because it's someone that loves them and they can call "daddy."

Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?

Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.

I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.

The things you do for your cousins!

My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."

I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."

My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.

I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad. Nobody laughed at these jokes; they just cried.

7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.

All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.

7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.

You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.

What did the frog say to the pedophile?

Why did your mum touch me? Because she was a pedo.

"He scratched his face up, detective. That did it."

"Did I do that?"

My grandfather has the heart of a lion!! 🦁

In a jar on his desk along with a lifetime ban from the zoo...

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.

It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.

How to get rich:

Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.

Step 2: Knock out the orphan.

Step 3: Cut open the orphan.

Step 4: Well there [are] organs.

Step 5: Do it again.

And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.

What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!