Law jokes

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.

My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?

Why did the wall fall over?

A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.

A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.

Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.

Why are orphans lucky?

Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.

Why do orphans play GTA?

So they can get wanted.

Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.

If you're ever bored, just slap an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

How do inmates keep in touch?

They have cell phones.

What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?

"Bale me out!"

Why can’t orphans order from Costa?

They need a parent or guardian with them.

Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!

Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!

My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.

I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad. Nobody laughed at these jokes; they just cried.

7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.

All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.

7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.

Why did your mum touch me? Because she was a pedo.

What did the frog say to the pedophile?

It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.