Law jokes
Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.
The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"
When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...
Bro how are my favorite rappers gonna make good music if they can’t pop PERKIES
Did you hear about the bank robber?
Turns out he got shot by the police.
And he wound up in prison.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?
Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."
But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
Why did the police play baseball?
Why?
He wanted to play catch.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
Rape is not a joke.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
What is the difference between the human rights?
I killed a man in '94.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.